Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Provo, I love you

Dear Lolo,

Now that you've officially moved to Provo, I feel it is my duty to introduce you to all the wonderful things Provo has to offer (in no particular order)...

First: J Dawgs

For just $3 you can get the best beef or polish dog in Utah, and quite possibly the best dog west of Chicago. My Chicago friend/co-worker Bob verified this for me when we went there for lunch last week. Do me a favor, get the dog "loaded"-- as in, with ALL the toppings. Yumm-O. And do me another favor... when a boy you like takes you there on a date, don't admit you're a vegan after you've already started eating. He will feel like a dufus. Made that mistake once.

Next up: Cinemark Movies 8, a.k.a. the DOLLAR THEATER

A few tips...

1. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT arrive more than 15 minutes before your movie begins. Because that would mean you'd walk into the theater and the lights would still be on. And that would mean you'd have to look at the seats. GROSS. Just go in right before your movie starts and you'll never have to worry if you'll get lice from leaning your head back on the seat.

2. On Friday and Saturday nights, buy your tickets at least 8 hours ahead of time. Or you won't be going to the movies that night!!

3. Buy the popcorn. Do it. You know you want it. And ask for extra butter in the middle and on top. Your rear end will LOVE YOU FOR IT. Pretend you don't notice when the popcorn guy picks his nose.

4. Go as often as you want. No one will judge you.

5. Do not forget to bring your student ID with you when you buy tickets or they will make you pay $2.00 for your ticket instead of $1.50 -- and that would be tragic. You could buy a mint brownie with that extra 50 cents.

6. Please pay for your ticket with CASH. It's that green stuff that comes out of ATMs. I know it's easier to use your debit card or your credit card... but they have to pay fees to the credit card companies every time you swipe those babies. And we wouldn't want the dollar theater to go out of business because of all those fees, now would we? This is Byron's pet peeve... not mine. But just do it if you want to be his friend.

Third: Diego's Taco Shop

THANKFULLY you already know the joys of a Diego's chicken burrito. But I just couldn't leave them off this list. I am your half-hearted vegan freak sister and I dream about how delicious they are....that's sayin somethin! Always order the chicken burrito and you will never be disappointed... not even if all the cheese and sour cream is clumped to one side. You will rejoice.

Fourth: The D.I.

I have purchased more of my prized possessions from this D.I. than I can even count. Like our VCR, Guesstures, Byron's green chair, and that AWESOME beyond awesome NSYNC book I gave to Ellie. Not to mention the sweet candy jar I have in my office that I just ate the last chocolate truffle out of.

Fifth: The BYU Creamery

Graham Canyon. Enough Said.

Do yourself a favor and call ahead of time to make sure they have Graham Canyon out. If not, ask if they have Cherry Cordial or Lemon Meringue Pie out. Both goodies. Graham Finale is good too, but not as good as our No.1 Fav. Make sure to look really HOT when you go to get ice cream. That way if they don't have Graham Canyon out, you can put on your best sad face and beg them to get it out for you while slipping the cute guy behind the counter your phone number. Also, be sure to go to the Creamery on 9th... they have way more flavors than the DT Creamery or Sugar and Spice.

By the way, the creamery's phone number is 422-2571. Yes, I have it saved in my cell phone contact list... so SUE ME.

Sixth: BYU Football at LaVell Edwards Stadium

Shudder. Moment of Silence.

Buy an all-sports pass. Just do it. It's worth it.

Seventh: Macey's Grocery

Shop at Macey's please. Because they are closed on Sunday's... and that is cool. And they are cheaper than Smiths and Albertsons. Which is also cool. Not as cheap as Wal-mart though... but who the heck wants to drive all the way to Wal-mart every time they get a craving for granny smith apples or a huge head of steamed cabbage?

Eighth: the "Y"

Hike the Y. Or run it. Whatever floats your boat. Just don't drive up there with boys alone at night. EVER. Ask Ellie what happens when you make that mistake.

Ninth: The Monte L. Bean Museum

Please visit this museum.. OFTEN. Nothing ever changes, but it's still fun every single time. Just ask Byron. More taxidermy than you can even imagine. The Kodiak bear is our FAV.

Okay, I guess this is enough for now... I don't want to overwhelm you with all the coolness Provo has to offer.




Paul/Heather said...

SO TRUE! Isnt it fun to introduce Provo and college life to your siblings???? I hope the twins let us do this soon.
love you...hope you are feeling well.

Amanda Pyper said...


Too bad they don't have it becauase the main creamery is under construction. *tear*